This essay is part of a series & also your invitation to audit my self-imposed, self-taught class in which I aim to define & understand our human emotions through my memories & personal experiences.
You were so cool you had Calvins at age 12! There are sooo many instances of shame we all carry from childhood. Certainly no one is perfect, and we strive to navigate so many complex emotions, while trying to toe the line of being good kids. We don't realize the energies of the emotions of failing to be perfect follow us through, until they're forgiven.
Thank you Susie, for providing this lens of (and for) reflection!
Thank you, sweet friend... for taking the time to read and to write such a heartfelt response. And for your pledge! I truly appreciate your support as I'm learning to navigate this platform (I feel like I'm 100 years old compared to my tech-savvy kids). xoxo
Susie I loved this essay, and laughed and cringed and thought a lot about my own shame, and, painfully, my shaming of others whether deliberate or inadvertent. That was a really powerful thing to think about. As a bad Catholic girl, I had 12 years of shame-training, and I was grateful that your essay ended with you throwing wadded up TP bombs out your Dad’s window because I laughed and laughed and no longer felt ashamed. Thank you for making us think, reflect and laugh! :-)
Loved your essay! Your word choices and creative phrases were fantastic!
Shame is a Signal, Not a Verdict 👩⚖️
Shame isn't just about feeling bad. It's a powerful signal that our actions, whether biological urges or social missteps, have clashed with important social or personal rules.
Your essay shows this, from childhood power struggles to parenting challenges, like understanding your child’s perspective after the theft or your mother breaking cycles of emotional distance.
The discomfort of shame, including the "boomerang" effect when we cause it in others, isn't pointless pain. It's our conscience saying, "Something here lowered the quality." Recognizing this signal helps us reflect, learn, and adjust for better relations and experiences.
Shame is a chance to move beyond just following rules and make thoughtful choices. Shame helps us grow, break old cycles, and aim for better experiences in how we treat ourselves and others. Real growth and healing come when we respond to shame with openness and creativity. That's my verdict. 😌
You were so cool you had Calvins at age 12! There are sooo many instances of shame we all carry from childhood. Certainly no one is perfect, and we strive to navigate so many complex emotions, while trying to toe the line of being good kids. We don't realize the energies of the emotions of failing to be perfect follow us through, until they're forgiven.
Thank you Susie, for providing this lens of (and for) reflection!
Thank you, sweet friend... for taking the time to read and to write such a heartfelt response. And for your pledge! I truly appreciate your support as I'm learning to navigate this platform (I feel like I'm 100 years old compared to my tech-savvy kids). xoxo
Susie I loved this essay, and laughed and cringed and thought a lot about my own shame, and, painfully, my shaming of others whether deliberate or inadvertent. That was a really powerful thing to think about. As a bad Catholic girl, I had 12 years of shame-training, and I was grateful that your essay ended with you throwing wadded up TP bombs out your Dad’s window because I laughed and laughed and no longer felt ashamed. Thank you for making us think, reflect and laugh! :-)
Loved your essay! Your word choices and creative phrases were fantastic!
Shame is a Signal, Not a Verdict 👩⚖️
Shame isn't just about feeling bad. It's a powerful signal that our actions, whether biological urges or social missteps, have clashed with important social or personal rules.
Your essay shows this, from childhood power struggles to parenting challenges, like understanding your child’s perspective after the theft or your mother breaking cycles of emotional distance.
The discomfort of shame, including the "boomerang" effect when we cause it in others, isn't pointless pain. It's our conscience saying, "Something here lowered the quality." Recognizing this signal helps us reflect, learn, and adjust for better relations and experiences.
Shame is a chance to move beyond just following rules and make thoughtful choices. Shame helps us grow, break old cycles, and aim for better experiences in how we treat ourselves and others. Real growth and healing come when we respond to shame with openness and creativity. That's my verdict. 😌